After quite a large delay, here's my latest state of mind post... Unfortunately, I couldn't churn out 8 posts in a month in January as I kept leaving the extensive posts aside for too long until it got too late... There's already been 10 days of February, but I'm going to try and focus on my 'state of mind' of January. I don't know if I'll be able to write 8 posts every month like last year.
I'm up to here with having to attend college every day, and in particular the Spanish evening course. I often feel like getting up in the middle of the lesson and screaming YOURE ALL CUNTS YOURE ALL FUCKING CUNTS. Going to Chesterfield itself every day is depressing, too - it's a despicable town that depresses me, it's a fucking dump.
It's incredible how I waste my weekends. I plan it out meticulously, but end up loafing around and talking to my parents. Very seldom do I have a productive weekend. This is fucking, I look forward to these two days all week but end up wasting them.
I finished Roberto Bolano's Los Detectives Salvajes about a month ago, and I enjoyed it... It got a bit draining in page 400 - it didn't seem to be going anywhere, and I started getting irritated by character after character narrating this and that. But there is a resolution at the end of this section, and the third section splendidly sowed everything together. I will be writing a review of it over the next couple of days.
Instead of spending my college breaks reading my books, I am now starting to do college work instead. I want to maintain the same grades I got last year, and this seems to be a good strategy to do so... I am reading a book at the moment, but this is for college: Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte, which I'm finding to be really, really enjoyable.
I'm really hoping to get 3 As so that I can apply to the more prestigious unis... The college work I'm worried about is the language coursework and the literature exam.
When I finish my short story The Land of Dreams, which I write now and again, I will write 4 more, and I will assemble all 16 of my short stories into a little book... 8 copies will be available for free - contact me if you want one. Corrections and improvements will appear in this edition.
I'm constantly assaulted by noise of some sort or another; I yearn to flee to a silent, mystical city free from noise... I can't fucking stand it - especially when I'm trying to read a book.
I met Jenny. :) She seems like a nice, sweet girl. I invited her to see Godard's Pierrot Le Fou at the cinema, and when I asked if she was bored or irritated she said no. :) She also said that when I bombard her with smileys, she says "I feel like you are about to punch me." It may come as a relief that I am far calmer, soft-spoken and a tad nervous person in real life.
I'm writing a screenplay of Julio Cortázar's short story House Taken Over. I'm not being entirely faithful (like Antonioni wasn't entirely faithful with his Blow-Up) with it, but I'm hoping that it will turn out well. I was so relieved that for the creative project this year I didn't have to do any practical work - I fucking hate hanging around with cameras with the cunt students. I can write a screenplay instead. I've also been toying with the idea of implementing elements of Cortázar's other story Letter to a Young Lady in Paris into the script.
I never write as much for my fiction as I'd like to... This short story, The Land of Dreams, is quite possibly my greatest work yet - it's very Borgesian... But I don't seem to be committed enough to write every day for it.