Wednesday, 25 November 2009

So what do I look like, anyway?

After years of clinging to the belief that I want the words speak to themselves, I am now rather inevitably going to post a photograph of myself on my blog...

I am not self-conscious of my image... I am just as surprised as you are when you see this photograph... This is the only photograph I have of myself.

I don't have some sort of fetish for the colour yellow... The room I moved into happened to be yellow and I happen to be wearing yellow in this photograph... I usually wear black.



Saturday, 21 November 2009

Words to describe myself

- Introverted

- Distant

- Holographic

- Impenetrable

- Shy

- Reserved

- Contradictory

- Silent

Friday, 20 November 2009

Ignored

I mentioned elsewhere that, although being quite antisocial, I wouldn't necessarily mind having occasional contact with other people... The thing is that the only way I can create a friendship is when someone approaches me, not when I approach someone... No-one seems to approach me. I am ignored.

There is something about my aura that automatically differentiates me from the rest, and there's something in my character that's different from everyone else's. I don't have basic skills of communicating with other people. People choose to ignore me; I choose to ignore people. And if people don't choose to ignore me, they will never get anything out of me as I am impenetrable.

I love anonymity. It is wonderful to withdraw oneself from others and immerse oneself in solitude... Next year I look forward to return to this completely instead of the painful solitude: being in a room with other people and going to a building with people roughly the same age as you and being completely ignored.... Yes, next year will be fantastic... Next year this pain will be over, and I'll be able to return to my own little world.

Anything remotely interesting, new, exciting and innovatory will always be ignored; anything casual, derivative, common-place and predictable will be eulogised with praise and admiration.

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

World cups

I went to Cologne last weekend excited by the prospect of the Chile-Germany match, but the game was cancelled because the German goalkeeper commited suicide! You chose just the right time, dickhead! If hell exists, I hope you are suffering there... I will write about the Cologne trip in the forthcoming State of Mind post. To alleviate the lack of football, I shall devote a whole post to football... I am going to go through every world cup to evaluate which was the best team... because the best team doesn't always win... I have all this knowledge of football after having obssessively read about it during my childhood.....

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1930

Best team: Uruguay
Winner: Uruguay

1934

Best team: Checkoslovakia
Winner: Italy

1938
Best team: Italy
Winner: Italy

1950
Best team: Brazil
Winner: Uruguay

1954

Best team: Hungary
Winner: Germany

1958

Best team: Brazil
Winner: Brazil

1962

Best team: Brazil
Winner: Brazil

1966

Best team: England
Winner: England

1970

Best team: Brazil
Winner: Brazil

1974

Best team: Holland
Winner: Germany

1978

Best team: Argentina
Winner: Argentina

1982

Best team: Brazil
Winner: Italy

1986

Best team: Argentina
Winner: Argentina

1990

Best team: Germany
Winner: Germany

1994

Best team: Argentina
Winner: Brazil

1998

Best team: France
Winner: France

2002

Best team: Brazil
Winner: Brazil

2006

Best team: Argentina
Winner: Italy

2010

Best team: Chile
Winner: Chile

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

Women I'd like to fuck #2

I am deliberately writing another version of this post to infuriate the 'sensible' women who read my blog and find this sort of thing 'offensive'.

Everything that appears for my blog is written for my amusement and satisfaction/fulfilment. I find art, in particular, terribly boring when it's specifically designated for an audience. Anything that takes my fancy will appear in this blog. I am, after all, the universe.

Isabelle Adjani

(She looks far better when she's younger and without make-up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_i78R9I9t_o)

Catherine Deneuve

Elena Poulou


Mia Matsumiya


Jeanne Moreau

French women are the best...

Saturday, 7 November 2009

Review #6


Aguirre, The Wrath of God - Written and directed by Werner Herzog


Werner Herzog is a director who will go through anything to obtain the end result; he will subject himself to anything in order to bring his vision to fruition. The process which he goes through to get his films done can often be just as captivating and remarkable as his fiction films. Little wonder, then, that he consequently has made documentaries of him pushing himself to the limit.

Out of all his films spanning a long, tumultuous and fruitful career, Aguirre is Herzog's finest achievement. One of the main themes imbued into most of his films is often that of obsessives with impossible dreams or men with peculiar talents in specific fields. All these themes reach their culmination in Aguirre.

A quote that sticks in my mind from Herzog comes from the wonderful documentary Burden of Dreams, a documentary made about the ardous shoot of his film Fitzcarraldo: "If I were to leave this project, I'd be a man without drems. I don't want to live like that. I live my life or I end my life with this project." These words echo Aguirre's own who self-describes himself as the "wrath of god" who will conquer the mythic city of gold, El Dorado.

An expedition to El Dorado is to be led by Don Pedro de Urua, with Aguirre second in command. The soldiers encounter difficulties in the Peruvian rainforest and Urua reaches the decision to turn back, but Aguirre raises a mutiny against him and plunges into a doomed, hectic journey into the heart of darkness.

This is Klaus Kinsky's best performance ever. His acting skills border on the genius, and he has a magenetic impact on the viewer. I can't think of any other actor as absorbing or impacting as Kinsky. His incredible talents are best demonstrated in Herzog's films. In his film he is very restrained, because allegedly Herzog would infuriate him prior to filming so that by the time the cameras rolled he would be far more calm and subdued... But the fury is present and seething beyond this restraint.

Towards the end of the film, the character's state of mind begin to crumble and they verge into insanity. They see a boat on top of some trees, and they continuously begin to lose their sanity. Kinsky at the end of the film is left on his own on the remains of their raft, and continues to declare his intentions of conquering the whole of South America in despair.

The film is full of astounding images that linger in the mind. From the shot in the beginning of the film showing a whole army of soldiers and native Indians descending down a hill to the ending scene of Kinsky in the raft with the camera majestically tilting aroud him, you know that you're in the presence of something beyond description. Herzog utilises a minimalist approach throughout most of the film, but there is an intrinsically complexity present in the film. Many people attempt at putting a meaning on it, such as calling it a satire on colonialism, but like many great works of art Aguirre, The Wrath of God defies any potential meaning by its inherent complexity put across by an appropriate minimalist approach.

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

The remote edges #7

These photographs could have been far better, as the sun got in the way this day and affected them...

My camera broke in my latest visit to the woods, and I'm hoping to get it fixed or I may have to buy another one... The good thing is that I'll be going to my weekly walks without any preoccupations of having to photograph.

Sunday, 1 November 2009

My state of mind #7

I have a lot going on this year....... Here's a list of the stuff I'm doing, both in terms of college work and leisure:

  1. English literature coursework (I've got to read Ken Kesey's One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest which, although being an excellent book, is interfering with what I read for leisure. I've had to put my Latin-American novel Zama by Antonio Di Benedetto aside because of it.
  2. English Language research coursework. I'm researching 'The translation of latin-american literary texts into English'.
  3. English Language exam work... We're studying 'Language Acqusition in children' and 'Language Development'. It's far more interesting than the dull, dry language analysis we did last year, but I can't really be bothered to process any of the information.
  4. Film studies research coursework. I'm studying 'The Auteurial signature of Jean-Luc Godard'. I'm collecting lots of essays and articles as well as reading a book about him. Really interesting stuff.
  5. Work for film studies exam. This year is far more interesting than last year as we are watching 'world' cinema, as opposed to last year's film which were from English-speaking countries. I got to see the excellent Mexican film 'Amores Perros' again last lesson.
  6. Piano lessons. Now I am finally getting beyond 'baby music' by starting to play more challenging pieces which require hand co-ordination... I'm getting to the end of the first book of Bartok's Mikrokosmos.
  7. AS Spanish. I've got to attend this as an evening lesson on Tuesdays, which makes my Tuesday 12 hours long! I'm doing this at another college becuase Chesterfield College doesn't fucking have a languages department. I'm doing it because I want a thrid A grade which may permit me to apply to the most prestigious universities of the country. Mainly, the course consists of the 'baby' stuff, but I can't really concentrate after having had a full day at the other college.
  8. Creative writing. I finished my short story 'Dream Stairs' yesterday, and I'm going to type it up on the computer soon. I'm quite satisfied with it... After this I'm going to write a short story called 'My Wife's twin'.
  9. Leisure books. I really want to get back to reading Zama, but can't because of college... After this I want to read Roberto Bolano's Los Detectives Salvajes, but I'm worried that this may also get interrupted by books I've got to read for lit.
But am I doing any of this stuff? No! I just keep procastinating and procastinating and procastinating. I can't just expect to get the same results last year in A-level just like that! I've got to work at it to repeat last year's glories!

Good news, though, is that Chile qualified to the world cup in style... They finished second place one point behind Brazil, and they got 6 points in the games I was worried about in the last state of mind post.

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Thank you, Pahprint, for the highly extensive replies to my blog posts! I will take the time to reply to them soon, but I've got to do other stuff now... I look forward to your 'reader's digest' thing, if you do ever send it to me...